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I’d hear the words tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth like a drumbeat in my heart—a prayer, an encouragement, a promise—that if I could find a way to do it, I would be forgiven and free. But I couldn’t find any version of the truth that didn’t make me a monster. I searched, even prayed for “good enough” reasons to leave: lies, a big betrayal, hidden addictions, a mortal flaw in him or our relationship, but never found anything but my solid, kind, just-as-promised man.
Keep ReadingMaybe it’s the passing of another birthday, or that I’m coming up on a year sober (?...!), but I’m thinking a lot about time lately. A dozen times in the past couple weeks I've been asked, either on this site or in-person, a version of the same question: When will I feel better? When will I stop thinking about drinking so much?
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