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Let's Talk About Sober Dating

Once I realized and came to actually see that my sobriety was the absolute best part about me, everything changed. I didn't make a point to scream at potential dates that I was sober, but I didn't hide it in any way, either. I checked the sober box on dating apps, but I also offered the info freely in conversation elsewhere, when it made sense, and it almost always came up pretty quickly.

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We are in a process. Let the discomfort work on you.

The collective process right now, when compared to the expanse of human history, has probably happened before. I’m no history scholar, but the literature and teachers tell me we have been here. The specifics are different, but symbolically the story is not new: we are in a burning, spiritually speaking.

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You could be soft instead.

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On Changing and What Other People Will Think

Now, for various reasons, I’m not sure I want to do it anymore. I’m not sure it’s a good fit, and I feel like other things are becoming more important to me. But I’m afraid to stop because 1) what will God think? And 2) what will other people think? I have many religious friends an I worry that they will judge me if I leave. I also hate calling attention to myself and change will do that. But I don’t want to be a prisoner of other people’s judgments.

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We Are The Luckiest

I believed the ones who didn’t have to do this—who could drink or not without much care or consequence—were just so damn lucky. They’d never have to fight this particular, stupid war. Shit, they didn’t even have to be aware it existed!

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40 Things at 40 Years

A few things I'm thinking about this trip around the sun.

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The Truth About Lying

What you’ll find—what I’ve found—is that the truth is ultimately life-affirming. Even when it’s ugly and inconvenient and has the potential to dismantle our life.

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The Pain of Too Much Tenderness

To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love. This is where've I have lived. This is where I am.‍

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