Growth

Once I realized and came to actually see that my sobriety was the absolute best part about me, everything changed. I didn't make a point to scream at potential dates that I was sober, but I didn't hide it in any way, either. I checked the sober box on dating apps, but I also offered the info freely in conversation elsewhere, when it made sense, and it almost always came up pretty quickly.

We’ve all heard about fight, flight, freeze as fear/trauma responses. But fawn is said to be the fourth and lesser-known “F”, coined by therapist Pete Walker.

Whenever we make a big leap, we're going to have people who cast doubt and concern about our decision. Here's my response for how to deal with that and stay focused on the important thing you're doing.

How did you find the strength to leave behind a steady, high salary to venture into what might be even failure? How much of a nest egg did you have that gave you enough comfort to make the leap? Did you downsize your life, or was trust in the universe what made this work for you?

It’s been years and years of receiving the same message now, and I know enough to know I have to listen.

The collective process right now, when compared to the expanse of human history, has probably happened before. I’m no history scholar, but the literature and teachers tell me we have been here. The specifics are different, but symbolically the story is not new: we are in a burning, spiritually speaking.

Early sobriety is hard enough, but going through the holidays and managing family can be ninja-level hard. In this post, I address a woman who is nervous about how to manage her mother-in-law’s niggling questions about her not drinking at Thanksgiving.

How do you ever get over the shame? Even with two years in therapy, I feel like I sit in a shame cave that I can’t get out of. You mention that you made poor choices that hurt yourself and others when you were drinking and you also say you have gratitude for all of your days because they led you to where you are now.