Sobriety

Once I realized and came to actually see that my sobriety was the absolute best part about me, everything changed. I didn't make a point to scream at potential dates that I was sober, but I didn't hide it in any way, either. I checked the sober box on dating apps, but I also offered the info freely in conversation elsewhere, when it made sense, and it almost always came up pretty quickly.

I've had an epic battle with social media for years. Recently, I left it for good, but then found myself back on. Here's what I learned.

We’ve all heard about fight, flight, freeze as fear/trauma responses. But fawn is said to be the fourth and lesser-known “F”, coined by therapist Pete Walker.

The collective process right now, when compared to the expanse of human history, has probably happened before. I’m no history scholar, but the literature and teachers tell me we have been here. The specifics are different, but symbolically the story is not new: we are in a burning, spiritually speaking.

This time has me sitting as close to center the of my sobriety as I did in the earliest days. I think about it when I wake up, when I make coffee, when I sit on my couch and look at the sun coming up, or the sun-having-already-come-up since my wake up seems to be getting later and later.

It’s great more people are talking about this because, frankly, alcohol is stupid. It was time for a change in the dominant paradigm of how we talk about sobriety. But not drinking and a cool IG feed isn’t a light switch to a better life—it takes a hell of a lot more than that.

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in America, and women are impacted more than men. At the same time, women are drinking more than ever before. The myth that alcohol helps reduce anxiety and stress is a myth, and one we are paying for mightily.